#5 Strengths Orientation

What is a weakness, dear Claudia?

Something that has a lot to do with strength. Strengths and weaknesses are on ONE continuum. A strength becomes a weakness when we exaggerate it or use it unproductively. And some things we just can't do that well.

I love this definition! Give an example!

If my strength lies in communication, for example, if I can explain well, if I am eloquent and rhetorically skilled, then it may be that – if I overdo it – I bore others to death, or I constantly interrupt them or can't find the point. Especially when I am not aware of my strength and the possible weakness that comes with it.

Please give another example!

Having high energy to get things started, to trigger actions, to bring myself and others into a high energy state can be a great strength. That is a wonderful strength... in some settings, in some contexts. And it can be an exaggeration if I start too quickly, overwhelm others, when my impatience does not lead to the goal.

It is always about knowing oneself well enough to maintain balance and not to exaggerate. To consciously position oneself on the continuum consciously. And it is about finding the "biotope" in which I can use my strengths well. I know some examples from coaching where a person was dissatisfied, and when they changed teams, everything went great.

I have experienced that people find it much easier to accept their weaknesses when they realize that these are inextricably linked to their strengths...

Yes, exactly. Nice, isn't it? At the same time, this does not mean – and this is really important to me in this whole topic – that we all just handle each other with kid gloves, are only nice to each other, and have no conflicts anymore. Weaknesses, mistakes, failures should and must be addressed. However, this works much better when we talk a lot about strengths and make it clear that strength virtually contains weakness.

How do I actually find out my strengths?

When I notice that things are flowing, I am usually in my strength. It doesn't feel like work at all. Flow experiences indicate – I think – strengths. My needs and my impact are also good indicators. For example, if I have a strong need for connection, I am often perceived by others as empathetic. The resulting strength would then be empathy.

The tricky thing about strengths is that they don't show themselves easily to oneself. When something comes easily to me, I don't see it as a strength because it seems to be nothing special. Or?

Yes, it is not easy to discover. However, if others repeatedly ask me for advice or help with certain activities, that probably indicates a strength of mine. Asking others, well-meaning people, about my strengths is also a good way. And if I am repeatedly recognized for something, then it is time to see this as a strength of mine.

People often prefer to talk about weaknesses...

Yes, participants and coachees are more hungry for improvement potentials. They say, "Hey, the strengths thing is okay, but tell me where I can improve, I want to eliminate my weaknesses." It has to hurt too...

What is wrong with eliminating weaknesses?

There are certainly weak points that I need to address because they are essential for my job/my role. It is about the attitude towards oneself and others. And about the question: "Where does it make sense to invest the most energy?" The greatest added value usually lies in developing strengths and using them consciously. And creating an environment in which all participants can do exactly that.

Strengths orientation also means being aware of one's own weaknesses, knowing the weaknesses of others, and dealing with all of that consciously?

Yes, that is the thing with the continuum from earlier. And the crucial question is: HOW do we deal with weaknesses? Devaluation does not help, seeing others as a problem because of their weaknesses does not help either. Torturing a person who does not feel comfortable on stage with presentation training again and again does not help either. Then it becomes destructive. Because where our supposed weaknesses lie, we come into contact with shame. That is difficult for all of us.

I think of Brené Brown and her wonderful TED talk and her book on vulnerability. Do you see a connection here?

The connecting theme is courage. Showing weakness, talking about weaknesses requires courage. Especially in a business context. I make myself vulnerable. Therefore, it is important to maintain boundaries, to approach the topic situationally and contextually, and not to invite limitless openness in teams.

How do you support teams in approaching or dealing with the topic of strengths orientation?

Situationally appropriate. When a leader comes to me and wants to do something on the topic of strengths orientation, we first clarify what is behind it. If there are many conflicts in the team, people would find it strange if I immediately focused on strengths and they were now supposed to find each other great. There is probably something else that needs to be addressed first. And it is never just about finding each other great. It is about bringing everything to the table that we have available as a team and making it usable. And when everyone feels that they can contribute their strengths, everyone will be more satisfied. When we build on strengths, complement our strengths, it becomes easier. So it is about performance and satisfaction at the same time.

What do teams do differently that really work in a strengths-oriented way?

They are much more efficient. Because in them, team members quickly say, "Let me do that, I can do it better/best." They have not only put diversity and variety on their banner, but they truly welcome someone who is different. We all think diversity is great... until it happens! And: They try more, fall on their faces, learn. Their roles are more fluid. Feedback rules are mastered :-).

Something completely different: What do you see as your own strengths?

I am quick to establish honest contact with people. Contact that also allows for irritation and friction. I observe well and can see and name potentials in people and teams. I find myself creative :-).

I could think of more about you... It is nice to listen to someone who talks about their strengths. Is it always like that?

Not really, it varies culturally and depending on personality. In the USA, where I was professionally socialized, you learn very early that it is important to present yourself in your strengths, and there is also a lot of strength talk... But you don't publish that!

But!

... and in more group-oriented cultures, the strengths-oriented approach takes on a different focus. There, team performance and team strength are more important than the strengths of the individual. And: we don't always have to talk about (individual) strengths :-)

Thank you very much for the interview, dear Claudia!