Encounter Through Dialogue

At Janus, we are convinced that dialogue makes genuine encounters possible. Contrary to popular belief, the term “dialogue” does not refer solely to a conversation between two people, as the word is derived from the Ancient Greek διά (through, across) and not, as is often assumed, from δίς (twice, double). “Dia-logos” essentially means the “flow of words” and is not limited to the number of conversation partners. Rather, it is about connecting through (διά) words (λόγος)—with oneself, with another person, or with an entire group. In the age of digital media, which is increasingly characterized by superficiality and snap judgments, dialogue offers a space for deeper, authentic encounters. “Connection” is a central element: Unlike in a discussion (Latin discutere—to break apart), where one opinion “breaks apart” another, dialogue serves the purpose of jointly constructing meaning.

Socrates used dialogue to provoke individual insight in his interlocutor. David Bohm used it to free collective understanding from distortions, and Carl Rogers viewed dialogue as a tool for healing and personal growth. At Janus, we believe that all three perspectives are valid: Dialogue serves to gain insight, create a collective understanding, and foster personal growth. It is a central tool for productive collaboration and collective meaning-making. In a world often characterized by fixed, unshakable positions, dialogue challenges us to understand the other’s perspective and to create something new together.

So how can we engage in dialogue?

Step 1: Listening

“Speech is silver, silence is golden.” – Folk wisdom, 19th century

Everyone knows that “silence” actually means “listening,” and yet, by the time we reach school at the latest, it becomes clear to us that worlds lie between these two concepts. Genuine listening is what makes dialogue possible in the first place. That is why learning to listen is also the first cornerstone of systemic coaching and classical therapy training.

In our world, we often speak of so-called “active listening.” This involves not only attentive body language, eye contact, or small verbal responses, but also techniques such as paraphrasing, showing empathy, and asking targeted questions to truly grasp what has been said. The goal is not only to hear, but also to understand—both the content and the underlying emotion.

The founder of client-centered therapy, Carl Rogers, placed great emphasis on paraphrasing. This went so far that Rogers established a rule in groups that one’s own thoughts could only be expressed once the previous speaker’s contribution had been paraphrased to their full satisfaction. In this way, participants were forced to hold back their own reactions to what was said until it had been summarized in a way that was understandable to everyone. For only when we truly understand what the other person means can we engage in dialogue.

Active listening is therefore not just a technique, but an expression of respect and appreciation for the other person. It builds trust and opens the space for genuine encounters.

Of course, this is a very lofty goal in practice. It would be unrealistic to expect every conversation to be conducted with perfect listening skills.

Often, it is enough simply to listen consciously, not to judge immediately, and to make an effort to truly understand the other person. Even small steps in this direction can significantly improve the quality of our conversations.

Step 2: Let the words flow

“Words and concepts constantly tempt us to think of things as simpler than they are.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

As Nietzsche already recognized, the path from thought to word is long, and unfortunately, not every thought can be easily put into words. However, to enable a genuine encounter in dialogue, we must make our thoughts accessible through language. Here, too, it is Carl Rogers who was very aware of this challenge and incorporated it into the philosophy of his talk therapy.

“A good therapist says what he thinks to be true; an excellent therapist says the truth about what he thinks.” – Carl Rogers

It is therefore a matter of being courageous enough to articulate the truth of one’s own thoughts, rather than bending them to conform to a supposed truth. This step requires a fundamental shift in perspective regarding the way many people express themselves: Truth requires courage, and a dialogue in which the truth is not spoken remains superficial. Only when we listen authentically and speak honestly can a conversation become a dialogue, and a dialogue become a genuine encounter. In such an encounter through dialogue, true thoughts are received, paraphrased to make them workable, and supplemented with new thoughts. The exchange thus becomes a dynamic process of further development. Unlike in a discussion, where one thought supplants another, there are no winners or losers in dialogue. Dialogue makes it possible to build upon true thoughts, connect them with one another, and create something that was not there before—encounter.